free therapy
by E.L. Zelda
Summary: Generally annoyed with one another but also turned on at some point of verbal exchange.


— free therapy —

* * *

Tsunade looked up from the clipboard in her hands at the two sitting in front of her. She frowned, looked back down at the board, sighed, shook her heard, and frowned while looking off to the side of her desk where she knew she still had a half opened bottle of saki left and desperately wishing she could have a drink right about now.

The drinking would have to wait, however, because there were more pressing matters to attend to. Damnit.

"Tell me again, why exactly each of you need this mission?" Just as quickly she added, "And one at a time, this time" when they began to talk over each other, again. Tsunade rubbed at her temples in a measly attempt to try and massage her headache away.

"I really, _desperately_ need this mission, Lady Tsunade."

"Yes, but why—"

"I live in a _dump_! The money from this mission would be more than enough to finally move into a decent, livable apartment, as opposed to the roach infested place I call home at the moment."

"Well you wouldn't had to of have moved into such a shithole if you'd only agreed to stay at the Uchiha Compound like I asked you to, Sakura."

"And I wouldn't had to of have declined if you'd never had broken up with me in the first place, _Sasuke_!"

 _They're at it again_... Tsunade thought exasperated. "Guys..."

"I was giving you what _you_ wanted! You would always bitch about how I was never around taking mission after mission but apparently it was okay when _you_ took shift after shift at the hospital."

"That's...different."

He scoffed. Tsunade tried to hold back hers.

"I was saving lives. While you were out there—"

 _Don't even say it_ , Tsunade mentally warned her apprentice at the same time Sasuke threatened, "Don't you fucking say it..."

"Taking them," the twenty-three year old kunoichi finished with an unwavering stare at her ex-fiancé.

Tsunade shook her head dejectedly.

There was an uncomfortable silence that hung in the Hokage's office, Tsunade looked from ninja to ninja. On the one hand, she couldn't help but feel sorry for the ex-avenger. The Uchiha was still a snooty shit in her book, but even she couldn't overlook all his efforts to right himself into society after all he'd done in the past. The stares, threats and nasty talk behind the young man's back would have been enough to make anyone run away. Not Sasuke Uchiha. He'd definitely earned his right to be back in the village, even if more than half its villagers didn't think so. Even if now his ex didn't think so.

Which brought her attention to the other female in the room. Petite, slim, with skin almost as pale as the mans and yet not nearly as marred. Sakura was used to working indoors as opposed to in the field. With her over the top healing abilities, the young woman would never have to worry about a scratch damaging her porcelain features again. Yet as Tsunade studied the girls' rigid posture and angry profile, she knew Sakura didn't need outer wounds to describe the pain her mentor knew she still must be going through. Inner wounds could be just as deadly. If not worse.

The breakup had been the talk of the town. There wasn't anyone who hadn't heard about it or wasn't talking about it at the time.

There were, of course, nasty rumors circulating of the Uchiha's infidelity or ulterior motives of using the village's cherry blossom for his own personal gain. Whether it was to pass himself off in the eyes of the villagers as a decent man by marrying into the village, or to simply revive his clan.

Other rumors claimed it was due to Sakura's conscious telling her not to marry a murderer. Or her love affair with their former team member, or sensie, depending on who you heard the rumor from.

The whole thing was all anyone wanted to talk about for weeks on end. That was weeks of watching the Hokage's star pupil pretend the whispers didn't bother her, didn't get to her. When she knew it most likely ate at Sakura, the girl Tsunade had come to love as a daughter, day in and day out. Five months later and the wounds of their failed love were still fresh.

"Whatever you say..." was all the former rogue ninja said as he turned to look away first.

Tsunade caught a glimpse of guilt pass through her student's face before she, too, turned to look in the opposite direction.

The older woman raised a curious brow. _Interesting._ "So," she cleared her throat, "Sasuke. Why is it that you think you should get the mission instead of Sakura?"

There was a slight pause before he answered. "The time outside the village. That's all."

Another air of silence. Another longing thought about a drink.

Tsunade looked down once more at her clipboard where mission details were written down. Off to the sides she'd scrawled notes on each candidate. So far, no one seemed to be in favor.

It was time to try something new. "Tell me about your relationship." She hoped this worked.

It was as if invisible strings moved their heads in unison towards Tsunade's direction. "Huh?" Their responses were also the same.

"Your relationship. What is it? Sasuke?"

Sakura interjected before Sasuke could even open his mouth. "Lady Tsunade..."

"If you can't answer a simple question then I suppose..."

"Generally annoyed with one another but also turned on at some point of verbal exchange."

There was a pause.

"I meant...your relationship status," Tsunade cleared her throat.

"Oh. We are separated."

Sasuke snorted. "Clearly," he rolled his eyes. Sakura glared at him.

Tsunade wrote on her paper. "Sasuke?"

The Uchiha quickly glanced from Sakura to Tsunade to the floor. "What she said," he motioned with his chin to the woman sitting next to him.

The Hokage nodded, writing more stuff down. "Ok, good. And is this final?"

"Tsunade, honestly—"

"I'm just trying to determine which of you is more emotionally stable for this very delicate mission, Sakura." She shrugged. "I can't have a loose canon with unresolved emotional issues carrying out one of the biggest mission requests our village has seen in a while, now can I?"

The two former lovers locked eyes. It was as if that one glance was the final straw.

* * *

Tsunade had expected to pick a ninja for the mission in no less than an hour.

It was now exactly two hours past then and she was still no closer to assigning the mission than she was to enjoying her alcohol.

When had this all turn into a therapy session?

Indeed, the two former lovers were still in the midst of recounting their problems, talking them out, exchanging sentiments, thoughts and solutions...

For three hours...

"I just feel you needed to make more time for us. For me. We were going to get married. It's not exactly a one person thing, you know, Sasuke-kun."

 _Know what is? This mission._

"I'm not the only one at fault, Sakura. You needed to put in the time and effort as well."

 _Missions take time and effort..._

"I agree. I shouldn't have said something I wasn't willing to do myself. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too."

I'm _sorry I chose_ either _of you two for this._

"So...can we give this another shot?" Sakura had tears coming down her face at this point. It was probably the only thing stopping Tsunade from pulling her hair out and ruining the tender moment.

"Aa," was his short response as the two fell into an embrace that started with light contact, and full on grew into a makeout session, complete with audible sound.

It was time to step in before Tsunade's office went from therapy session to a porn audition. "It looks like I have all the info I need - and then some - and I've made my decision. The one who I choose to take on this mission is Sa—"

"It's ok...Lady Tsunade," Sakura said in between pants. "Sasuke and I..."

"We've decided neither of us are going."

Tsunade blinked slowly. What...

"We're hanging back to catch up on lost time, isn't that right, Sasuke-kun?" she smiled.

He smiled back.

They were instantly gone in a cloud of smoke and leaves, leaving Tsunade to stare at nothing but air for a long time.

Finally, she broke the clipboard in half without a second thought and glanced at her desk as she went for the door. She was going to need much, _much_ more than just a _half_ bottle of saki...


End file.
